Disconnection

When struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety or intrusive thoughts I would have a surge of disconnected feelings at any given time. I could be feeling great, and then with the drop of a hat feel disconnected. I would look in the mirror and wonder, “Who Am I?” The world would continue at its normal fast pace, but I was stuck in slow-motion. I would analyze my disconnected feeling. Tear myself down for it, all while repeatedly telling myself to snap out of it. I would look at my loved ones and feel disconnected from them. My feelings were flatlined and I hated that! I didn’t want to be feeling this way, but I was there and couldn’t snap out of it like I was telling myself to do. The analyzing and failure would make me snowball into more depression and fear.

Sweet Momma, if you are reading this and sharing a similar path – I want you to know that you are not alone. You will get through this. You are so greatly loved and perfectly made by the one true King! He has equipped you with all you need to overcome any obstacle. You do have love; it is there even if you are not “feeling” it. Give yourself patience, grace and kindness as you go through the postpartum phase. Looking back my biggest contributor to PPD and PPA was me analyzing my feelings. “Why am I feeling this?” “Does this mean I don’t love anything?” “Is this how I will always be?”. Question after question in my mind. It is hard to stop the analyzing because we are Momma’s, we fix things! We look for answers to fix and to help. But sweet Momma, the answer right here right now is: The Lord. Lift your eyes and heart to Him and He will guide your path. He will provide you with the answers. He will get you through all the uncertainty, fears and sadness. If you are at the point where you need additional help from a Christian counselor, then take that step. You are not weak if you need to visit with a counselor. They are trained to help you! My interactive 14day Christian-based program is available as well. I created this with each struggle in mind as I experienced PPD, PPA and intrusive thoughts. This program is one-on-one with me, interactive with other Moms but also private. If you are interested, you can click the button in the upper right corner that leads you to my Etsy page where I have additional details.

Above all…

Jeramiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

From my momma heart to yours,

Shanna – Postpartum Depression Mama